Sleep Deprivation :(

Right now Im setting in 4th period, ima so freakin tired. But its not because Morgan kept me up all night, i chose to stay up until 3 am on the internet--my fault, not morgan's. She actually does pretty good sleeping, she wakes up around 5 or so to eat, which is good, becasue that's around the time i get up to get ready for school. Anyways...time for updates :)

So the whole Jaylin thing is over. It was over the Monday after it started :D But i really don't care all that much, but if it had lasted, then I wouldn't have got the reality check i got from Calvin.

I talked to him on myspace the other night for a while, then he told me to just call him later, cause he was kinda wanting to talk to me. So I called him, and we got to talking about "us" again. He said something, and I said "and this is the part where you tell me you love me, but you can't be with me. And that's what hurts me the most." I told him that I would rather have him tell me he hated me than to know that he loves me, but only keeps me around for his own satisfaction, and that is what he was doing. He said "you're exactly right." So then there was an awkward, kinda silent few minutes between us. The he asked me what he was supposed to do. I told him that it was time for him to make a desicion, he could have me or not. But he had to pick one, becasue I can't live like this. So then we got off the phone, and he texted me t he next day and said that it just wasn't going to work out. So Monday--his 18th birthday, I brought him his 2 shirts, and his keychain to him, he gave me back my keychian, and we haven't spoken since then. :( But maybe it is for the best, becasue he thinks im not good enough for him, well he said that's not how it was meant, but that's what he said. He said "I need what's best for me in my life right now, and right now, you aren't what's best for me." So then, I said, "so I'm not good enough for you" He also said that maybe later in the future we can be together, when he is able to support more than himslef. I think that as my boyfriend, he feels obligated to support me an Morgan, but it wouldn't have to be that way, and I have told him that time and time again. But I guess none of that matters.
I'm doing my best to move on, it may take a while, but im gonna make it, I always do.

I actually like two different boys right now, Andre and Tyler. But I can't date Andre, because he's black :( and tyler is in love with my best firend, but she doesn't like him!!! So yeah...its kinda compliacted...lol My daddy got mad just because of a picture i had of me and Andre together. He told me either I change it, or it gets deleted--that being my facebook. He's stupid, I mean, that was just a pic of me and him--as friends, no more than that. but it's whatever, I know that I have to respect their rules on this. And Daddy likes Tyler, he plays soccer with me. But I don't think its gonna go anywhere :(

Anyways, time for me to go to luch almost, so bye :) <3