February 6, 2010

So things are beginning to look up for me and Calvin, or at least, they seem that way.
I think that we may try to be in a relationship together. We started talking on myspace again tonight, and talking about how much we miss each other, and how miserable we both are without each other. I told him that I really felt like we could be together because the 4 months that we were together, we never argued, and we were always happy. Unlike a lot of people who argue with each other all the time. So we definitely aren't like most high school couples. He said that he would like to think that we could be together and make it work, but with his mom and dad and stuff, and with him gonna be going to college in the fell, we would probably have to break up anyways. But then I told him that regardless of whether or not I was having a baby he would still go off to college, and the original plan for us was to take it one day at a time. And he said that his mom's big thing is the fact that she thinks that I would eventually start to expect him to help me with the baby and take care of her, but I wouldn't because that is in no way his job. Unless, of course, we were going to get married, then I would kinda expect him to step-up, but like I've always said, I'm not looking to marry him, I mean, if that happens, then so be it, but I'm not looking for a husband. He said that e always thinks about me and thinks that I put a love drug or something in his drink while he was here. lol. He's so funny.
He said that he finally got to my blog, I gave him the address, but he was typing it in wrong or something..lol. He said that when he would read the parts about him he would tear up because I would say that he's the best guy I've ever dated, and that he knew I meant it. I've had a lot of shitty boyfriends, and Calvin is by far the best one.

I told him that it would really help me if we at least could try to be together, because that makes me feel like he cares something about our relationship.And also, I feel like it would help both of us, cause then we can at least say that we tried. And if we don't try, then we'll never know and then we'll always be wondering, well, what if it had worked for us. He said that is gonna talk to his mom, but he wouldn't want his dad even knowing about us, because he doesn't even want him to be friends with me. I can understand what his dad is saying, but I think he should be a little more understanding. His dad's big thing is that it was really horrible of me to do that to Calvin, and honestly it was. I'll be the first to admit it, I shouldn't have done that to Calvin, I should have been straight forward with him, but I wasn't. I was selfish and anted to be with him. And Calvin seems to understand that pretty well, and doesn't hold that against me, which makes me happy. But it was wrong of me to do that to him, and I am very sorry for that.
Calvin said that I'm pretty much all he thinks about, and I told him in case he couldn't tell he was all I ever thought about. I mean, look at my blog, and you can see that. He dominates most parts of my blogs. I just hope that things will get better for us.
I told him though, that I couldn't stand the whiplash effect anymore. Like, things start to look up for us, then the next day, they go wayy downhill. I can't handle that emotionally. But hopefully we won't have that.

Well I'm pretty much too happy to type, so I gotta quit, plus I'm kinda tired. so goodnight world :p